Miss Houdini

Many years ago, in the North of England there were a huge number of organizations called Working Men’s clubs. The organizations were basically drinking and social clubs, not largely different to many of the fraternal orgaizations which have lodges. The clubs would try to have some type of other activities and would have dances, social nights, parties, talent shows, etcetera. It was said that there were 1000 such organizations within a 100 mile radius of the famous Durham Town, which by the way, is on the Tees not the Tyne as the song says.
We had some friends who realized that these clubs were a potential gold mine. They mined by offering dance lessons. We looked for an idea that would not step on any toes but would get a share of this gold also. It did not take a lot of research to realize thhat dance lessons were popular since it gave the wives something to do and drag their husbands to.
Then Tony Curtis stared in a film about Houdini and we had our system: While playing around on a number of occasions I had tied up Mary and she had always managed to escape. We watched the Houdini film and tried all the escapes that we learnt there. We had an act. She was Miss Houdini. I can best explain the act by sharing with you the script that I used each evening as we moved from club to club.
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. In the realm of mystery and illusion there is no name more famous than that of Houdini. And, indeed his greatest fame was gained in the area of escapes, and specifically strait jacket escapes. As you know, Houding died half a century ago, however, you may not know that his art has been continued in each generation. It will be my honour in a moment or two to introduce to you the current member of this magical family, Miss Houdini!
But first, many, if not all of you have seen the strait jacket escape and have probably been certain that either it is easier than it looks or that trick items are used. Tonight, Miss Houdini has asked me to challeng you to lay to rest both of these suspicions.
Here I have a thousand pounds (At this time the money is shown. It should be said that this was a huge amount of money in those days when the average member of the audience probably made less than this in three months.) I am going to place this money, her challenge with the chairman of the club. (The money was so deposited.)
The challenge is as follows. Miss Houdini has six identical strait jackets. A panel from amongst you, the audience will chose one of these to secure her. You may examine all of them in as much detail as you wish. The other five will then be available for challengers.  The first challenger who can escape as fast as Miss Houdini will receive the entire challenge a thousand pounds.
In order to be fair there will be a couple of rules:
1) Miss Houdini is size 6, the strait jackets were made to the women's pattern for smaller women. We therefore must limit challengers to being between size 2 and size 8.
2) The garments are the standard Victorian design used for women. They are not suitable for men and so our challenge is restricted to you ladies.
3) The panel from the audience shall be the only ones to secure Miss Houdini and once all straps are secured they will leave the stage. I will not touch the garment selected for her.
4) I and only I will secure the challengers fully supervised by the panel and in full view of the audience.
5) Any challenger who leaves the stage area will be disqualified.
6) When inspecting the jackets you may not remove them from the stage or from general view.

For you laidies who are concerned about your clothing we do have sets of disposable overalls available backstage and we can provide you a changing room to change into them.
Without further ado I will ask the challengers to come up. Ideally, I will get five couples comprising the five challengers and a pannel of five men to assist in the securing of Miss Houdini and to act as judges.
(At this time it was common to get approximately the required number of audience members onto the stage. A thousand pounds was sufficient of an inducement).
Excellent, we have our challengers. If any of you would like to change please step over there and Joan will provide you the overalls and show you to the changing area.
(At this time Joan brings the jackets onto the stage.)

Here are the challenge garments. Please take them and check them.  Remember, they are all the same. You as a group should check them out and then decide which one you want to use on our star when she comes out......
One thing I did not mention. We always had a shill in the audience. This lady would come up and be a challenger in the even that we had no other challengers.  Usually, if we had no other challengers she would come up and this would break the ice and cause others to come up. She did not cheat but merely would act as an additional body to get our numbers up in the event that things looked sparse.
The six jackets are brought onto the stage. If there are less than five challengers I instruct the pannel to select a number that will be discarded. For example, if we have only three challengers then we need only four jackets, three for the challengers and one for Miss Houdini.
In practice, it is rare that we do not get the full number of challengers.

While the pannel examines the jackets Jane brings a coat-stand onto the stage. The pannel chose which jacket will be used for Miss Houdini and this jacket is hung on the coat rack in full view.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, your representatives have chosen the challenge garment. I am  now going to hang this here, on this rack where it will remain in your full view until we use it.  I will also use this clip to attach the challeng emoney to this stand, also in full view.
I will place the other five jackets on this stand here". Placing them on a stand near the
front of the stage.

"Members of the pannel: As respresentatives of the audience are you satisfied that all these jackets are identical"

They answer "yes"

"Have any of us ever met before?"

They answer "no"

"Now is the time for our challengers. I just want to remind you that I will be applying the
jackets to all the challengers, and you, the pannel will be applying it to Miss Houdini."

“I just want to remind you that you may inspect as closely as you wish the way in which I restarin the challengers, but you may not touch. Then when you restrain Miss Houdini, I will watch you, but I will not touch.”
“Now, Ladies, I just want to remind you that if any one of you manages to free herself from her jacket before Miss Houdini, you will receive the entire one thousand pounds that you see over there. You do have a slight advantage since you will be strapped in before our star and so you can start your escape a little before her.  Similarly, there will be a slight advantage to whichever of you choses to be strapped in first. In order to make this fair I have five numbered tiles in a bag.”
At this time Joan brings me a bag which contains the tiles.

"I ask that you each select a tile from this bag." They do.

"Who is number 1?"

One of the ladies steps forward, having chosen the number 1 tile.

“Please go to the rack over there and select one of the five jackets. You and I know that they are all the same but I still want you to have a completely free choice. “ She selects one.  I allow her a chance to change her mind.
Once she has made her selection: "OK, if you would stand, facing the audience and place your arms out directly infront of you and pass the jacket to me. " She does so and then I say:

"I am going to explain each step here, as I fasten this first jacket, with the other challengers I shall proceed a little faster and not provide this commentary"

“As you know a strait jacket is fastened at the rear so I shall push this over your arms like this.  Now, if you will turn round so that the audience can watch while I fasten these straps.”  Usually, at this time I need to remind the pannel not to get in the way of the audience seeing what  is happening. “Ladies and gentlemen, you will notice that there are five straps at the back here.  The instrucions with the jackets say that we should fasten the top one first and then the bottom one and then work upwards with the other three.”
“As I fasten these, I would like to point out that the jacket is made from industrial canvas and these straps are finest quality leather. You will also note that I am pulling these straps as tight as I can without hurting our challenger.”
"You will note that this last strap that I fasten here corresponds to the sleeves of the
garment and will ensure that her arms can not slide out of the sleeves. "

“Now that we have all the rear straps tight I would like you to turn and face the audience once more. This is an ideal time to point out that the ends of the sleeves are closed and so even if we were not going to fold your arms there is not much you can do since your fingers are trapped inside the sleeves and the canvass makes them somewhat useless.”
"If you will stand with your legs slightly apart for a moment".

“I am now going to take these two straps that hand from the two tails at the bottom of the back and pull them up through your legs and fasten them into these buckles here at the front. Again, I will pull these as sightly as possible since it is these straps that will stop you from sliding the jacket up over your head.”
“Finally, please give me your right hand, I am going to pass it through this loop at the front of your waist. This will prevent you from raising your arms up and over your head to escape. Now the other hand please. We always put the left arm last so that it holds the stronger right one in place. Ok, now that your arms are in position, please turn with your back to the audience so that they can watch while I pull these straps as tightly as possible, locking your arms in place. I am going to pull very tightly here, so please brace your self.”

"Ladies and gentlemen, our first challenger is now ready. Please go and stand over there,
where there is a number one marked on the floor."

We repeat the process for the other challengers. Once they are all secure and standing on their assigned marks, usually squirming as they try and get free Miss Houdini enters the stage to a drum fanfair.
"Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great pleasure and honor to introduce the one and only,
Miss Houdini!"

“At this time I will step to the side and ask our pannel to get the final jacket and apply it to Miss Houdini in the same was as I applied the other jackets to the challengers.” They do.

We now have the five challengers standing stage left, still struggling. "ladies, time is
running short, Miss Houdini is about to escape, the thousand pounds is slipping away."

Jane comes onto the stage with a large silken sheet. "Gentlemen of the pannel, I thank you.
It is time to return to your seats. Lets all give them a big hand." They go back to their seats.

"Miss Houdini please come to the center of the stage."

As she steps towards the front center of the stage I throw the silken sheet over her. It drops over her for a moment and then she steps forward with the strait jacket in one hand and the sheet in the other. She takes a bow and throws the jacket and sheet to Jane who takes them off the stage.
The audience goes wild, the challengers are amazed.

James. (The real one)

This account was originally posted to Bob857's page.